Reflections

Photo by: Pretty Petals

Some people say life as a stay-at-home mom is easy... but to be honest, it's real work. For me doing what I love is a wonderful job, and yes some days are easier than others. Sometimes we don't realize how huge of a responsibility it really is, parents are the closest thing children will have to God when they are little. They need comfort, kisses, discipline, and tear catchers. We should be a reflection of God to our children, and His love for us should shine through to our babies. 

Have you ever thought about why we have such beautiful things, like flowers, on this earth? It's all God's reflection. I like to think that when God made all the beautiful things of our world like animals and nature, He thought to Himself, "Surely they will see me in all these things." One of my favorite movies as a child was "The Secret Garden" with Kate Maberly. I would go to my Nanny's house and watch it over and over all weekend long. So my Nanny decided to fence off her whole backyard and make it into a huge flower garden, that would grow all along the inside of the fence, for me. You know, looking back on this, I wasn't as appreciative about it as I would be today... Nobody had ever done anything like that for me before. Actually, it was probably the most wonderful, thoughtful, extravagant thing anyone has ever done for me in my life. Sometimes I think about what Nanny has waiting for me in Heaven, she's probably got miles and miles of beautiful flowers of every kind ready for me to set my eyes on. One of the last things she wanted to see in the hospital before she passed away, was me in my graduation cap and gown. Besides my mom, my Nanny was a beautiful reflection of God to me. She loved me unconditionally, if I came to her and told her I had just committed a crime she probably would've turned herself in for me.

God loves us more than this. You can't even begin to compare His love with anything else. If a human being like my Nanny with so much love, did a million wonderful things for me while she was here on earth, imagine the amazing things God has done and will do for me while I'm still here. All I have to do is take up my cross and follow Him every day of my life. I want to be His beautiful work of art with His radiant light shining off of me, so that when people see me they know there's something different about me. Our greatest commandment He called us to obey was to love each other.

I may not agree with your lifestyle, your choice of words, or your view for our country, but one thing I will agree with is being your neighbor. If you need money I will give it to you. If you need clothes I'll buy them for you. If you're hungry, you are welcome at our table. 
And I am welcome to pray for your soul.

My Sweet Son

I decided to change my blog name because I feel that it's important for my readers and first time viewers to know, that among everything else I'll do in my life, the most important thing that I will ever do in my time spent on this earth is raise a king in my home. Its really been weighing on my heart more and more lately about what I do and say in our home because of my son. I want Levi to know that Mommy and Daddy love him, but there's One far greater than us who loves him so much more. I want to raise Levi up to be a Godly man so that he will be a king in Heaven. I know that I need to give my best at raising him so that I know that when God asks me when I get to Heaven, "Did you raise your children up to know about Me?" My answer will be, "Yes Lord." I have done a lot of bad in this world, but that's in the past. We all get an abundant amount of chances to redeem ourselves, and Levi is one of mine. My mom was (what it seems like to me) the best mom in the world. She filled my life with teaching me about forgiveness, kindheartedness, hospitality, and most of all love. If there is one person that I can absolutely say I know for sure I will see in Heaven with a beautiful crown of sparkling jewels, it would be my mom. I want Levi to be able to say these things about me one day too. Now I know it's going to seem kind of cheesy, but Levi's first Easter basket means a lot. It's not just a basket for hunting eggs. One day he'll know the true meaning of Easter Sunday and the man who died for him, and this basket with his name on it, to me, means that Jesus saw Levi's face when He died that day. It's symbolic I guess you could say. Maybe that makes me a weird mom. I love this little boy with all my heart, and there is no greater gift I could bless his life with than knowing about Jesus. And that's what I'm here for.

There's a story in the Bible of a woman named Hannah, and she prayed long and hard to have a baby, and spent hours in the temple crying to God to let her body bare a child. She promised the Lord that if He blessed her with the ability to have children she would give her first baby to the Lord after so many years with him. Her first baby, Samuel, grew up in the temple to be a priest. The story of Hannah is one of my favorites, she was such a brave woman. It takes a lot of courage and trust to hand over your child to someone you've never seen, but nevertheless, He was there the whole time. 

"In the future your children will ask you, 'What is the meaning of these laws, decrees, and regulations that the Lord our God has commanded us to obey?'" -Deuteronomy 6:20 NLT

You Are Mine

Imagine being in the halls of your high school again, and there's a girl that everyone is talking about. She has a bad reputation of being with numerous guys. They harass her and call her bad names. They taunt her to the point where she's standing in a large group of people mocking her, and she's crying. She's so overwhelmed and falls to the ground. The crowd gets quiet and she looks up to see a man walking toward her, but he kneels down to get eye level with her so he's not looking down on her. He tells her she's forgiven. He begins to tell the group of kids that if they haven't ever done anything wrong, lie, steal, adultery, they can stay, otherwise leave the girl alone from now on... All sins are equal.

This is my Jesus.

There's a similar story to this in the Bible, I just decided to put it in modern terms. Teenagers can sometimes seem more cruel than adults. I know, I've lived it. This particular story that's in the gospel is one of my favorites. It can be applied  to our lives in so many different ways. We are such divinely favored creatures of God's heart, that He gave His son as a gift to us. So that we can be forgiven and have direct access to talk and to be loved unconditionally.

There's another story I heard a long time ago, and it's about a family who was forced to make a heartbreaking decision. This family was driving to go on vacation and they were listening to some fun music on the radio and jamming out. All the sudden it switched to an alert saying that a huge outbreak of an exotic disease has spread, and everyone needed to get to the nearest clinic or hospital to be tested. The family was just of three, Dad, Mom and their eight year old son. They found a hospital and it was already packed, the lines were outside to the parking lot. When they finally made it in, the mom and dad had tested positive but the doctor told them their son was fine. They were going to run some more tests just in case. So they waited and some hours later the doctor came back out and said they had made a discovery, and asked to talk to them in his office. He said their son was more than good he was amazing, and they found that his blood was somehow an antivirus for this disease, and they needed it. The parents were shocked yet relieved, and said they would agree but how much blood would this possibly require? Suddenly the doctor's face was overcome with grief, they would need all of it to the point of their son soon being deceased. The parents were devastated and had to make a decision to either die along with millions of people infected and let their son live, or help everyone and literally make a huge sacrifice. After hours of heartbreak and tears, the parents finally had come to a decision. They chose to save the people. When they finally got to see their son for the last time, they explained everything to him and he was scared but he was brave and willing. He clung to his parents and didn't want to let go in those last moments but they all finally said their goodbyes.

If you haven't figured it out already this story was an example of Jesus. In those last moments before the guards came to arrest him, he pleaded with God for another way, but there wasn't one. In a way, the story I just told was a lighter version. Jesus was beaten numerous times, stabbed, spit on, he even had his beard pulled from his face. Jesus was tortured to death. Even in his last minutes while his lifeless body hung on a cross he was still mocked. For me. He did that for me. 

Sometimes it's hard for us though, we go through times where we feel like He's not there or not listening. Since we weren't alive in the Bible times and didn't personally witness anything, sometimes we just don't want to believe it all actually happened. We are just going through the motions of this life alone. I can't tell you how many times I've thought about this. He never fails to reassure me every time though. I recently posted that I was in a rut and I desperately needed some breakthrough time, and I got it. Sometimes we feel like we have the tools to be a better Christian and we just need to take the reins and do it ourselves, we forget to just sit down and let Jesus teach us. I finally got my time to sit down with Him and this is what He said to me:

"Stop running like mad because you don't know the music; lay in the wild grass while the stars dance instead. Forget what they've told you about Me and stop thinking it's something you have to perform. You could spend your entire life doing that and never know any more of Me at all. You'll miss the point, miss the beauty, and miss the sky I painted above you. It's a beautiful night to realize what it's really like to be loved.

Stop chasing the song, child, and let Me teach you to sing." 

-Angie Smith from Chasing God

Mirror Mirror

I stopped nursing Levi on March the 5th, and I told myself I would start dieting after and I have. I've already lost 8 pounds, but I'm not going to post pictures until I'm done with this whole journey. I'm on a whole food diet, mainly fruits and vegetables and go to the gym 3 times a week. I want to show all those supplement-ers out there how you can still lose weight without all that craziness!;) I know we all get a lot of people that say they aren't losing weight to look more beautiful and they just want to be healthy, which is probably true to some extent. I'm not going to lie, I do want to be able to look good in a bikini this summer, however, I'm also doing this for another reason. God. 

Back in January, I did a small 5 day fast, where I just cut out caffeine and sweets for financial purposes. I'm not telling you this to boast, I just want all my Christian readers to have a reassurance that God is real, that's part of my mission. We are here to tell of His good works and lift each other up. So this is why I'm telling you afterward so you'll know God doesn't play. I really don't know why fasting was put on my heart but it was. We were struggling after Christmas time and we had started to tithe a few months before and I really felt God was telling me it was time to fast and our blessings would come. So I did. Sure enough, God blessed us with an abundance amount of money, and of course also gave to the church. We got all of our medical bills paid off. Keep in mind I still owed money from Levi's birth and my gallbladder removal surgery. All were paid. It was one of the most amazing things God has done for our family and I thanked Him over and over. I know that God is real because I've felt His presence in my heart, literally. Although, as humans we always tend to second guess things. We all need a little reassurance every now and then. God never fails in that area.

Lately I've been in a rut with my prayers and Bible reading, I do them but it feels so routinely. During a spiritual fast or diet it's important to learn to rely on God for help and comfort. That's what I did when I fasted. So I especially feel now is a good time to start again because it helps my mind to trust God, and ask Him for help when I struggle. Also to learn patience and self control. I have pretty good self control when I want it, but I need to work on my patience. I'm relying on God to guide me there. Some Christians think God is only good for specific areas of your life. We don't tend to think that He wants to help us diet or lose weight. We're wrong, He wants us to talk to Him about every aspect of our lives. No matter how unnecessary we may think it is.


I hope God gave you something great out of this post! :)

What I'm Going to Miss About Breastfeeding

Welcome to Mommy Monday!

I finally stopped nursing Levi 4 days ago and I've been pretty bummed out about it. He's now almost 14 months, so I guess it was time. I just wanted to share a few things I'm going to miss about breastfeeding, assuming Levi will be my only baby. We haven't fully decided on that yet. So here we go...

1. The Quiet Time - It was the few times out of the day where you're not hearing screaming or crying, it was just those moments of beautiful peace and quiet.

2. "The Mommy-Baby Bond" - Now I know this is going to sound somewhat selfish, but I know now that Levi will get older he will have a close connection with his Daddy, which is great. But in my mind he will no longer be Mommy's little baby... He'll be Daddy's big boy, and that kind of makes me tear up.

3. Pumping - I know some women will think this one is absolutely insane, but I honestly loved pumping. I had a great supply so there was just something very satisfying about pumping and freezing milk. It provided a safe net so if something were to ever happen to me, Levi would still get breastmilk. Also it's great for your skin and helps cure pink eye!;)

4. Security - Sometimes I would think Levi felt the safest when I would be nursing him, and often I feel like he won't have that feeling of total security anymore. Now he's going to have to endure different babysitters sometimes, and going to the nursery at church. It's hard for me as well, in my mind, as the mom to feel like Levi does (and will) feel safe without me around.

5. Being His Hero - In those moments of nursing, you tend to feel like there is no one else in the world that could make your baby feel as loved and warm as you. The way they smile up at you and know that YOU ARE MY MOMMY. And they love you more than anyone else on the planet in those few minutes. You are his life support, you are his hero...

God or The World?

This is my 50th post! Yay! I can't believe I already made it to 50. Excuse my teenage girl freakout... So I have some very exciting news for my readers! I'm going to have some guest posts coming up soon! I'm super excited about it. So get ready!


Following my last post, I felt like I needed to cover the aspect of judgment. It's something we are all guilty of. A good friend of mine put it in perspective for me, "If you are not wearing name brand everything you must be poor. If you don't have the newest car or best things you are not cool." -JesseM 

This is sad. It's sad that as parents we help enable our children to think this way by not teaching them the value of a dollar. We want so badly to give our children more than what we had growing up, that it completely slips our mind what it's doing to the way they view people. It's not just about clothes or cars though, it's about decisions we've made. There are people that don't agree with the way you live or the way you think. Now in today's society, there is more of being coerced to agree with things. Some Christians don't agree with homosexuality, tattoos, piercings, or even wearing jeans to church. This is a big reason churches are closing their doors, because people are too afraid of being judged. It's especially hard to live in our nation today. You are expected to have a nice house and nice things. 

When I was in high school my government teacher my senior year, was one of the best teachers I've ever had. I wouldn't have met my husband if it weren't for Mr. Roach. That's right, Mr. Roach taught us how to do some country dances in class. And I have to say Matthew & I are amazing dance partners, when I dance with him it's like that's all that matters in the world is that moment. We just flow together and we know how to feel when the other one is about to change it up. In a way, it let's you know that you're compatible with each other. Anyway, so Mr. Roach said something in class one day that I never forgot, he said, "You do not own your possessions, your possessions own you." Ever since then, I didn't want to make that mistake of serving money instead of God. Does it matter what we have or what we wear? I could die in 5 minutes and none of that would matter once I'm gone.

None of these worldly decisions we make about which shirt to buy or which house to build will mean anything in Heaven. It will be, who did you give your money to that needed it in that moment? Who did you help? And who really saw Jesus in you? If you're thinking about these questions, and maybe you haven't helped someone in a really long time, or even just to tithe at church, the time is now. If you haven't been paying attention to the news, the time is now. Our president is about to make the decision that could be the beginning of the end. Now is the time to come back to Jesus, and I mean come back for real. Not saying one thing and doing another. It's time for us to start standing up and supporting Israel, and loving our God. Whole heartedly loving our God. The time is now. The last thing we need to be worrying about is who has the latest iPhone and who is wearing the cutest stuff. Check yourself and open your Bible. I don't just say these things for my readers, I write this stuff for myself too. We all need to come back down from the world and realize all that matters is who we serve. Who do you serve? God or the world? It's time to choose.

"Better a little with the fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil." -Proverbs 15:16