Home for the Holidays

Part 1:

I said in the beginning I would be honest about my journey as a Christian and I want to hold true to my promise. I had a whole long post written out to publish for my next topic, mainly talking about how frustrating and dysfunctional family can be. But we all already know this. We all have crazy families. The holidays are mostly about getting to spend time with your loved ones and some you don't get to see very often. I was going to talk about how hard it is to get through to some family members that being a Christian doesn't mean you can do all the wrong things, and still get to Heaven just because you believe in God. That's not how it works. It's really hard to witness or share your faith to family who are still confused about it, because they feel entitled to get to do or say anything they want around you because, of course, they're your family.

So enough of the ranting. I just want to say I'm thankful. Thankful to God for even getting these opportunities to share His word and His love with family. Thankful to get to show them that living for God is precious, and life changing and real. Thankful to get to show them that even though your family can be frustrating at times, you will always love them and be there for them no matter what. That even though some family might speak ill of us or deep down might not even like us that much, we still have the chance to show them the good in being Godly. Turning the other cheek and smiling.

So through the rest of the holidays remember that when you walk through the door or open the door, to be the light. You might be the only light of God they will ever see, so be a bright one. Be kind, patient, and love one another always.

"For God, who said, "Let there be light in the darkness," has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ." -2 Corinthians 4:6

"You are the light of the world - like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden." -Matthew 5:14

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Part 2:

Our first Thanksgiving with Levi was a success although tiring as well. Both him and Matthew took off their nice clothes before pictures so I was the only one dressed up for the family picture. We went to Matthew's grandma's house first for his family and then to my sister, Tosha's, next for my family. We had to have my mom bring Levi home a little early because he definitely wasn't going to nap with kids running around everywhere. So we were very thankful to her for that, so we could spend a little extra time with the family.

This weekend we put up our Christmas tree and decorations. We even bought our first family ornament. I really want to make that a tradition each year for us to buy a family ornament, I think that's a cute idea. I got an ornament that's a star with a bell on the bottom because we all know we love in "It's A Wonderful Life" when the little girl says, "Every time a bell rings an Angel gets its wings." 

We also decided to go with traditional tree decorations this year, with the Christmas star, and candy canes and a few ornaments. I really want Levi's first Christmas to be about the true meaning and not just all the material things. For those of you who are thinking he won't remember, you're probably right, but the point is for right now in the moment he knows. He absolutely loves the Christmas tree, so I decided to take some pictures because it's adorable how much he loves it.

"She gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger..." -Luke 2:7

xoxo
 

Sweet Sweet Love

I apologize for not writing more posts these past couple weeks, it's been crazy around here for us. My sweet Aunt Pam had to have shoulder surgery last week, and had some complications afterwards that resulted in some hospital stay. She is home now and recovering nicely, but if you could say a quick prayer for her body to continue to heal, that would be so sweet! 

My sweet baby Levi did a lot of running around with me this past week, in the midst of a cold front, and he ended up getting really sick very fast. However, I found some great homeopathic medicine for his age range and it's been working wonders! (Hyland's Baby - Tiny Cold products)

Also just a few days ago Matthew went to start our truck to head to work for the day, and the truck wouldn't start. Let's just say thank goodness my husband is a mechanic! So he reset some things and finally got it started, and headed to get it scanned to see if he could figure out what was wrong. There were several different things that popped up on the scanner so he decided to just go to work and maybe get it scanned there, because they tend to have more accurate readings sometimes. On one of his breaks he went out to check if the truck would start up and to see if the 'check engine' sign was still popping up, and it just so happened to crank up perfectly with no signs lighting up at all. Praise the Lord!

Needless to say it's been a little chaotic around here, but I've been doing a lot of hard praying and God has been so good to us in the end. I have really been trying to get in the habit of putting all my trust in Him and knowing that He will not give us more than we can handle. Every time something awful emerges in our lives, I just have to keep telling myself it's a test of our faith and trust that God will get us through. Let me just tell you, He is faithful. And I am so thankful.

As Thanksgiving approaches I have really been reflecting on all the wonderful things God has done in my life just over the past few months. As I become a stronger Christian, I'm really seeing how much I've missed over the years if I would've just spent more time with Him. More time loving Him, more time worshiping and in fellowship with other Christians that could've encouraged my walk with Christ. Most importantly though, more time getting to know Him. I recently started to go to a Bible study group about a month or two ago, and it has been life changing for me. I love the women and love how we can talk about any and everything going on in our lives. It has really lifted me up and has become a support system for me, and it helped that my sister, Tosha, was apart of it so I got to be myself right from the start. 

God has been doing amazing things with me and for me. Right now, I feel like we couldn't be more blessed with where our lives are going. I just can't even begin to explain the experiences with God that I've had throughout these past months, it's been powerful and spiritual, sanctifying.

So in my life, I am forever thankful that God our Father endured the pain of sending His son to this earth. He had to watch Jesus carry His own cross and undergo torture and literally get nailed to a cross for each one of our lives full of sin. He loved the human beings He created so much that He would go through anything to save us from ourselves, some of us not even willing to accept Him maybe ever, but He did it anyway. I will always be forever thankful. Thank you for your love God. Thank you for your creation of love.

"One of the criminals hanging beside him scoffed, "So you're the Messiah, are you? Prove it by saving yourself-and us, too, while you're at it!" But the other criminal protested, "Don't you fear God even when you have been sentenced to die? We deserve to die for our crimes, but this man hasn't done anything wrong." Then he said, "Jesus remember me when you come into your Kingdom." And Jesus replied, "I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise." -Luke 23:39-43 NLT

Beautiful Words...

You know when you become a first time mom, and you feel so overjoyed when you get your baby to stay in the playpen (contently) when y'all are home alone, and you get to take a shower? I've had a few of these since becoming a mom and it feels like a huge accomplishment, doesn't it? Maybe that's just me. Of course I put the playpen in front of the bathroom door so I can keep an eye on him, and he still knows I'm close. This might seem crazy to women who aren't moms yet to be able grasp this obstacle but trust me, it will be hard. 

But with that being said, becoming a mom has given me confidence that I never had before. Confidence in multitasking, confidence that I can run on 4 hours of sleep, confidence that I can finally voice my opinions and have a firm stand on what I believe, and confidence in knowing what's best for my son. Becoming a mom has been the best thing that has ever happened to me, with the exception of having the privilege to grow old beside my best friend. 

Some women talk about depression after having their babies, also known as the "baby blues." I'm very thankful I wasn't one of the few who fall into that deep depression. However, I did get really stressed out after Levi was born because he had baby reflux (and still does), and sometimes he would choke and stop breathing. Thankfully he's kind of grown to handle it better and hasn't had any real problems since then. The first few months after becoming a new mom are really rough, and it's only by the grace of God (and my mom) that Matthew & I learned to become great parents. Personally I feel like you have to be ready to want to accept the role as a mom to really overcome all of the roller coaster rides of emotional changes that come after childbirth. 

When you hold those tiny hands on your chest in the hospital, and look into those sparkling eyes you created, how can you not fall in love with not only your baby but that feeling of knowing your heart is expanding? Expanding with love, joy, and confidence that you will be an amazing mom. I want to make sure all the new moms and experienced moms know that I pray for each and every one of you. I pray that you always know that you can keep going, no matter how hard your life gets. I pray that you have the strength to always show your children your heart, even if you have tears running down your face. Always speak love into your babies minds.

They will never forget your beautiful words and they will always love you for it.

I'm always praying for you.

"But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God's love." -Jude 1:20-21 NLT

To My Sweet Husband

Something to brighten your day...

Your love for me has never once started to fade in the time I have spent knowing you. Nothing ever seems to change how much we love and care for each other, our love only grows. And to think I thought I would never find you in this world... I am beyond thankful I was wrong.

You are not just my best friend anymore, you are the father of my child. That means more to me than you know. It means more because there are men who, one day, choose to not care about their families and walk away. Men who choose to start over with someone else and pretend they never had another family they left behind. Men who call themselves successful in money but poor in love and life. Men who choose not to provide for their families at all and would rather swim in alcohol. Men who do work, but also live for alcohol and come home to their family numb, wasting each precious day away. Men who let anger control them and cannot control their actions when it comes to their wives and children. Godless men. These men call themselves men, but in the end they are just little boys who never overcame their own baggage.

My Matthew, you are living proof that any man has the ability to choose which path they want to walk. I know your history and you have overcome so much in your life, and I want you to know I am so proud of the man you are and the man you will become. I am proud of the husband and daddy you are and will be in the future. I have faith in you and I have faith that our family will continue to grow in love. I admire everything about you and I adore you. Never forget to always lead me and our precious Levi to become more like Christ every day. Because we need you, we will always need your hands to hold and your arms to hold us. I've said this before and I'll say it again, please don't ever change. I love you just the way you are.

-Forever Your Bride

Music to My Ears

Happy Mommy Monday everyone!

I'm loving writing for this segment because it gives me something to look forward to on a Monday... because let's face it, no one really gets ecstatic about starting the week unless it's their honeymoon.

I want to start by saying I'm a huge music geek. I love all things musical. I'm not very good at playing instruments but I love to try, and it's on my bucket list to learn to play the piano or keyboard, because I love to sing. I love all kinds of different artists from Muddy Waters to Johnny Cash, and The Monkees to Eddie Rabbitt. When it comes to music I appreciate everything about it, I guess you could say it's a passion of mine.

And I want Levi to appreciate all music just as much as I do. It's important to me to be educated in music because to me, music is what feelings sound like, and everyone should have the opportunity to explore their emotions through a song.

So I'm going to share a little bit of our musical routines during the day. When it's meal time for Levi, I turn my phone on to Pandora and most of the time he loves Disney songs but we switch it up between Christian and oldies. We really love dancing to Eddie Rabbitt's 'I Love A Rainy Night' and Chubby Checker's 'The Twist.' Levi loves dancing with Mommy and we really have so much fun. I get crazy when it comes to dancing and I think he gets a kick out of watching me do it more than him. Levi also loves it when I sing to him and now that he's baby talking, I can't wait for him to try to sing with me.


So to all the Mommys out there, break out your Pandora and explore some oldies! I'm telling you babies love it! And you will be giving them a chance to grow up listening to artists that most kids will never know about. 

BB King

"A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence." -Leopole Stokowski

The Changing Table

The hardest thing to do as human beings is to believe in something we can't see. Do we have guardian angels? Are there really angels walking around disguised as people? It's hard for us to say yes or no, even for some Christians. Even people who claim to not believe there's a God, somewhere deep down when one of their loved ones pass away, I feel like they would still like to think that their loved ones have the chance to watch over them. I think this subject is the one that draws all people to God, because where do we go when we're gone from earth for good? Who created us to live and to die? If you believe we have souls, isn't that spiritual? These are the questions that have so many nonbelievers stumped.

After my Grandma had passed away in the hospital, I called her Nanny by the way, I saw her spirit in her hospital room (believe it or not). She loved the color pink because she was a breast cancer survivor. When I saw her spirit she had on her pink sweater, that I later had my mom sew into my wedding dress, and she was trying to comfort those crying for her and let them know she was just fine. I was trying to be strong for my family and didn't cry much and I think she sensed that, but after I saw her I felt a sense of relief from my grief. Out of all the people in that hospital room God chose me to have the privilege to get to see my Nanny look and feel alive one more time before she left the earth.

I have always carried a childlike heart and sense of humor with me for as long as I can remember. For some reason I've never wanted to give up that part of me that believes in keeping your inner child alive, and my belief in God's magic. I was afraid that was going to change after I became a mom. I was afraid I would lose that part of me because I was no longer considered a child, I was a mom. People expect you to grow up and forget all about the magic. Of course becoming a mom changes you, but I think you choose what parts you decide to let it change. I chose to keep my inner child. I always tell everybody that you have to have faith like a child, because children believe harder than anybody. And I've always believed children and babies can sometimes see things that adults can't see.

So I choose to believe my Nanny got to have a hand in picking my husband, because they would've been best friends. I choose to believe that my Nanny got to kiss Levi in heaven and tell him to make sure that our family always feels love before God sent him to us. I choose to believe that when I put Levi on his changing table, and he looks up and smiles the biggest smiles, and his eyes start to twinkle, and he starts to have baby talk conversations with the ceiling, what he's really seeing is my Nanny. What he's really seeing is angels in heaven, and maybe he's even seeing God watching over him. I choose to believe these things because not only do I believe in God, I believe that everything about being a Christian is majestic and precious.

You might call me immature or even crazy but I call it having faith like a child, that through Christ nothing is impossible.

“Anything is possible if a person believes.” -Jesus Christ (Mark 9:23 NLT)

Be Thankful

Don't worry, I'm not going to do a post every day until January 1st but I wanted to start this series to encourage the seasons of giving thanks, and not only just for November. The Holidays are all about learning to be thankful!
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When Matthew and I got married we had a 1 bedroom apartment, so quickly after we got pregnant we realized we would need more space. My mom just so happened to live alone in a 5 bedroom home and had been struggling through a divorce. So of course she asked us if we would like to move in with her and split the bills. I'm going to be honest, this was one of the most difficult decisions me and Matthew have ever made. We had no credit built up to buy a home and student loans were piling on, so we made the decision to move in with my mom.

For some couples this might seem like you would be back sliding, you might even feel ashamed. But it's only because society tells us to feel this way. We're afraid of the world's standards, and that our own friends and family who think they are more established will turn their noses up at us. But Matthew and I chose not to be discouraged and instead chose to be brave. There's a huge difference between bettering yourself Biblically and trying to better yourself according to the world. Our family constantly strives to not hold ourselves to society's standards but hold ourselves to God's. 

It's one of the best decisions we've ever made. We have been given the chance to help my mom while helping our own family as well. I'm not going to say that we don't struggle to be humble because we desire a home of our own, but we know God wants us to be still and wait. He will provide and continue to bless our family.

We are so thankful for our home that we all share. We are forever grateful that my mom gave us this opportunity to build up our family, and that we have had the chance to flourish. Thank you Mom, we love you so much.

There are so many parents out there who would die for their children to live in a nice home, with a warm bed to sleep in at night and food on the table. There are parents and children struggling everyday to make sure they find shelter and something to eat at the end of the day. I encourage you to pray for those people and donate over the holidays to a good charity or food drive... And please whatever you do, don't let a day go by that you're not thankful for what you've been given in your life. Because I'm sure that it is much much more than someone else might have.

"Soon the people began to complain about their hardship, and the Lord heard everything they said. Then the Lord's anger blazed against them, and he sent a fire to rage among them, and he destroyed some of the people in the outskirts of the camp." -Numbers 11:1 NLT
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Always remember that you have no chance of making an impact if you're not honest about your journey.

-I wanted to also share that purchasing a Honest Company product as little as a package of wipes from Target, Heb or their online website, donates the money to families in need. 

The Sweetest Thing

Welcome to Mommy Monday! I just want to take a second to thank all my readers, you guys have been incredible. I get text after text telling me that everyone loves this particular segment of my blog, and it makes me feel so amazing that everyone loves it! Thank you thank you!

I just want to remind everyone that my opinions and views are coming from a Christian perspective. Enjoy!
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Matthew & I recently decided to purchase The Love Dare together. We didn't do this because we are lacking in the marriage area, we decided to do this as a challenge for us as husband and wife. We are only on day two so far, and I have to say Matthew seems to be excelling rather well for just two days in. He really knows how to hold me accountable and I'm not mad at him for that. If anything, I love that about him. It is giving him the chance to accept the role as a husband and lead our family, as it should be. Most couples might think this would be a way to change their spouse, I don't feel that way at all. I love who Matthew and I are together and I think this is a way for us to embrace our best qualities and minimize the bad. I feel like this was the best decision and purchase we've ever made, and again we are only on day two, so I'm very eager to see how much we have grown by day forty. 

However, what I really love most about doing this Love Dare is not only does it better your marriage, it also betters your children. 

My sister, Tosha, had some amazing insight for my post tonight and I couldn't have said it any better. She said, "The sweetest thing that you can do as a Mom for your children is to show them how much you love their Daddy, it makes them feel safe." 

I love showing affection to Matthew in front of Levi, I want him to know that we love each other and show him that's how it's supposed to be. Now not over the top crazy affection but our children need to see and understand the meaning of love and caring, and the meaning of family as a whole. Also to understand the dynamic of a family. The Dad should be the head and the Mom should be the heart. Your relationship with your husband should implement and mirror your relationship with Christ.

So many parents today make the mistake of not raising our children to be prepared for marriage. We have the mindset to raise our daughters to be independent and we have lost the initiative to raise our sons to become men. To step up to be able to care for themselves and take care of their future family, and learn to cope with criticism. We are raising our boys with no coping skills, we buy video games and iPads instead of Bibles. We are raising boys who take cover instead of being the one to learn to make the cover. Our daughters know more about taking care of themselves than about learning to nurture a future family.

Matthew & I can't help but feel privileged to have grown together in such a short amount time. We have ultimately been together for 3 1/2 years, and married for 1 1/2. We continue to strive to grow together and not apart, we are so lucky to have realized how great our love for each other is and for our family all together. I love him and our family more than any earthly thing, and I know we will see our marriage through to the end. We have realized just how important it really is to take these necessary steps to better our marriage, because it is not just the two of us that will suffer, our children will suffer immensely as well.

So I urge you to take all precautions now. Don't wait until your marriage or your family is at stake, do it now.

"But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord." -Joshua 24:15 NLT

Fallin' for Family Part 2

Blooper Shots

 This one isn't a blooper shot! Bonus photo!

This last picture really means a lot to me... I have been really struggling with feeling good in my own skin. Matthew helps me a lot because he tells me I'm beautiful everyday and he doesn't see anything wrong with me. It's a constant battle, but somehow at the end of the day I do feel good to be exactly who I am, and I do love the way I look. It's only a struggle if you make it one. I feel like social media and television make it hard for someone who is considered a "healthy" medium to feel like they should stay where they are. When I had Levi I wanted to gain weight because I had decided to exclusively breastfeed, and I didn't want to ever lack in supply. So I told myself I would gain weight and not care about anyone's opinion. I challenged myself on purpose. Before I got pregnant I was dieting and losing weight and it felt good, and even when I was pregnant I didn't get enormously huge. However, my views changed after I had my baby boy. I didn't want to slim down right away or even a few months in, I wanted to feel good just the way I was as a mom. It's been a tough journey but I've grown to learn a lot about myself and having self confidence. I do think I'm beautiful and good enough, and this picture will be a constant reminder to me to always feel good about myself no matter what. Eventually after Levi's first birthday and when I stop breastfeeding I will most likely diet again, but for now I'm practicing loving this body I'm in at the moment.

"Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?" -Matthew 6:27 NLT

Fallin' for Family

I am beyond ecstatic to show everyone these beautiful fall photos because this was Levi's first photo-shoot and I was the photographer! My mom took some pictures of all three of us but other than that it was all me! I am very proud of myself and it helped that the camera always seems to really love Levi :)

Levi did so good with this shoot, we all had so much fun with it :) I will be posting some more of the "blooper" shots tomorrow! So stay tuned! Happy Fall!