Part 1
I love having a blog, not just to inspire others, but to keep inspiring myself. I feel like not only does God use it to help others grow but to continue to help me grow as well.
There was this one evening last year I decided I wanted to go get one of those half price shakes from Sonic, my addiction to those is a problem... Well I knew I had to hurry because a huge storm was on its way, but of course I thought I still had some time so I decided I'd get my shake and go into town to the bookstore to pick up this book I had been wanting to read for a while. The sky looked so bold and beautiful with storm clouds rolling in, and I was driving on a bridge up kind of high so I could really see everything. I whispered to God that I would love to see the storm and all it's might... I didn't think He would actually hear a tiny little prayer like that. Oh but He did. I was just like ten minutes away from the bookstore and when I got to the road it was on, the storm had hit in a split second. I had to make a u-turn into an Olive Garden parking lot, at which I saw trash cans and huge tree limbs blowing across the road. Golfball size hail, and wind like I've never seen it. I was barely able to find the Olive Garden parking lot due to the wind and rain making it hard to see and it was only seconds away from where I was. Plus the car in front of me had completely stopped in the middle of the road so I had to find my way around him. When it finally died down, I thought it was over so I still drove to the bookstore but their power was out. On my way home it was getting dark fast due to more rain clouds coming in, and another storm was coming at a fast pace. So round two came. God doesn't take prayer lightly. Two crazy storms I drove in all in one day, by this time I thought I was going into shock, literally. Now that my vision has gotten so much worse as I've gotten a little bit older, I can't see good at night anymore. I was balling my eyes out and thought I was going to die from hyperventilation. I said out loud, "Jesus please carry me home and get me back to my son and husband." I kept repeating this over and over. I felt His presence and was compelled to glance over at the passenger seat and although it was empty to my eyes, I felt in my heart it wasn't really empty.
These past couple of days, I've been forgetting about moments like this. With everything that's been going on in my life, I've been hearing nothing but encouraging words from my family and friends. But even with the uplifting comments, I've still felt alone. I kept asking God to show me if what I'm doing is the right thing. So when I got up to sing for our Easter Sunday service at church, I had to hold back tears because I was so overwhelmed by His presence. It's Satan who wants me to feel like I've been alone in this, and it's Satan who wants me to stop and love the ways of the world. God loves me so much and He's for me. He fights my every battle, so I don't have to. He saw my face when He was in excruciating pain on the cross, dying... He will never stop pursuing me.
So a couple nights ago I was doing my Bible reading and I prayed to God again and asked Him to show me if I should keep going with my blog despite negative feedback... and as I was reading I felt God really speaking to me and loving on me, so much that I felt His hands on my face and I heard the words, "Trust me." I couldn't help but break into tears... He had answered my prayer. I guess I always thought to myself that I would never have a problem with negativity or nonbelievers, that was a really ridiculous thought. Of course you'll be tested and questioned, for some reason I just wanted to remain oblivious.
Just because people of this world make you feel bad about yourself or make you feel like you're a failure doesn't mean it's true, and it sure doesn't mean that's how God sees you. Through all of this I've been trying to fight by myself, but really I've just needed to let go and let God take over this for me. He knows our hearts, and He knows the hearts of others that hurt us. That's all that matters. God is a just God. He will fight for you. As human beings we don't always use the right approach or the right words because we're imperfect, and when someone tries to break our spirit, of course we immediately want to retaliate. We are all guilty of it. But there's a reason He opens and closes doors in our lives, and whatever the reason, I'm always going to trust Him and keep on going.
Just want to share some great words I read recently as inspiration:
Not taking a side on issues means to take a side. To decide it is a matter of indifference is to risk having Jesus against you. Read the description of Christ in Revelation 1 and consider if you would ever want to risk that Jesus being against you. -Pastor Sam Allberry
Part 2
Easter Pictures!
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