The hardest thing to do as human beings is to believe in something we can't see. Do we have guardian angels? Are there really angels walking around disguised as people? It's hard for us to say yes or no, even for some Christians. Even people who claim to not believe there's a God, somewhere deep down when one of their loved ones pass away, I feel like they would still like to think that their loved ones have the chance to watch over them. I think this subject is the one that draws all people to God, because where do we go when we're gone from earth for good? Who created us to live and to die? If you believe we have souls, isn't that spiritual? These are the questions that have so many nonbelievers stumped.
After my Grandma had passed away in the hospital, I called her Nanny by the way, I saw her spirit in her hospital room (believe it or not). She loved the color pink because she was a breast cancer survivor. When I saw her spirit she had on her pink sweater, that I later had my mom sew into my wedding dress, and she was trying to comfort those crying for her and let them know she was just fine. I was trying to be strong for my family and didn't cry much and I think she sensed that, but after I saw her I felt a sense of relief from my grief. Out of all the people in that hospital room God chose me to have the privilege to get to see my Nanny look and feel alive one more time before she left the earth.
I have always carried a childlike heart and sense of humor with me for as long as I can remember. For some reason I've never wanted to give up that part of me that believes in keeping your inner child alive, and my belief in God's magic. I was afraid that was going to change after I became a mom. I was afraid I would lose that part of me because I was no longer considered a child, I was a mom. People expect you to grow up and forget all about the magic. Of course becoming a mom changes you, but I think you choose what parts you decide to let it change. I chose to keep my inner child. I always tell everybody that you have to have faith like a child, because children believe harder than anybody. And I've always believed children and babies can sometimes see things that adults can't see.
So I choose to believe my Nanny got to have a hand in picking my husband, because they would've been best friends. I choose to believe that my Nanny got to kiss Levi in heaven and tell him to make sure that our family always feels love before God sent him to us. I choose to believe that when I put Levi on his changing table, and he looks up and smiles the biggest smiles, and his eyes start to twinkle, and he starts to have baby talk conversations with the ceiling, what he's really seeing is my Nanny. What he's really seeing is angels in heaven, and maybe he's even seeing God watching over him. I choose to believe these things because not only do I believe in God, I believe that everything about being a Christian is majestic and precious.
You might call me immature or even crazy but I call it having faith like a child, that through Christ nothing is impossible.
“Anything is possible if a person believes.” -Jesus Christ (Mark 9:23 NLT)
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