The Heart Behind These Words

I've done a few posts that have been really hard for me, and this is going to be one of them. This subject has been causing me so much grief and confusion, and I just wanted to sit down and let it all out. So with tears and a heavy heart, that's what I did with this one. It's not about pride or boasting, it's about the truth about what kind of person I truly am.

I have a gay friend named Michael that I worked with a few years back. He is full of life, he loves seizing new opportunities, and making people laugh. One night I got a call from him and he was in tears at the hospital, before you freak out let me tell you that it was just kidney stones. However, he was still in a lot of pain at the ER and they wouldn't give him pain medication until someone arrived to drive him home. So he trusted me enough to call and ask me to come and eventually take him home. Of course I went and sat with him and tried to talk him through the pain before the meds started to kick in. He was in full blown crocodile tears, and said he thought he was going to give birth, haha. I know I shouldn't laugh, but men crack me up sometimes... So I helped him out of the hospital and into the car, and drove him home. He said he was fine to be left alone and he wanted to rest so I went home. He was really thankful, and the next day he had my friend Kimberly deliver me a surprise bouquet of flowers to work for being there for him. 

My intentions for this story is not to flaunt pride or contradict my beliefs. I wanted to share this story because being a Christian doesn't mean you have to have a cold heart toward someone. Nothing could've stopped my heart from knowing I had to help Michael that night. Though it may seem odd to some and give off an impression of prudence, but as Christians, it is required of us to uphold the laws of God. To vote no to gay marriage. But for a former friend to say, how dare I say I have gay friends and family and that I don't have a heart for all humanity, really broke me. It is not wrong to stand and support those who do want to serve you but just have to say no to participating in that specific type of wedding. Because let's be honest, in our Christian culture that type of marriage doesn't honor God or His law. However, your heart does honor God when you choose to show love to all people around you.

My Dad and I just recently talked about his brother Tim, who passed away before I was born. Tim got diagnosed with AIDS and he was also gay. Uncle Tim died in my Dads arms, and my Dad has never gotten over the pain, and who could ever get over something like that? It's a painful feeling and image to hold on to. So let me tell you why I think Uncle Tim is in Heaven. In the Bible there's a scripture in 1 Peter that reads, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." And in those last few moments, my Dad's heart was so full of love and hope for his brother. It is not our job to tell anyone they are condemned to hell, only to lead them in the right direction toward Heaven. I'm not saying you should encourage and welcome homosexuality, but don't let it keep your heart from loving deeply.

I also wanted this post to be about forgiveness. Forgiveness for heat of the moment retaliation and misuse of words, that cause people to think all Christians carry malice in their hearts. This particular situation has been weighing on my heart so much, and it crushes my spirit to know someone would wrongly classify our family.

So I want to say I forgive you. I forgive you for judging me. I forgive you for saying mean things about me and turning your back. I know my heart was never in the wrong place. I have built this blog for me to have a place to come to spill my feelings and thoughts, and welcoming anyone to read them. It's always raw and vulnerable and sometimes people take advantage of that and say hateful things. But I feel like I'm doing a very brave thing by opening myself up and letting people see me and know that we have the chance to inspire others, take your chance. I know who I've become and I love where I am in life. So I just ask you to please be respectful and know that there is a real person with a heart behind these words...

With Love,
Victoria

My Worst Misconception

Have you ever found yourself having that inner conversation about the church? Thinking that it only holds judgment and you don't have to go to love God or to be a Christian? I used to be this person. And I've had this conversation with myself and God plenty of times. Ever since I graduated high school, I said it would just be me and God, on our own together. I would listen to podcasts of sermons and make myself feel a little better about not attending. I don't mean to make this sound cliche, but I was wrong to ever doubt the church. When you start to doubt the church, it unfortunately is the beginning of doubting God's plans. 

I've read so many things about how awful the church can be and what so many assume that it holds. I've been to a few different ones and none of them have been the same. The church that we are members of now, it's unlike anything I've ever experienced. It's so attentive and passionate for God, and every Sunday leaves you feeling like God spoke directly to you. Most of the New Testament is Paul's letters to each of the churches. Filling those scrolls with instructions from the Holy Spirit. The church should not be a place of judgement, however it should be a place of change. Hearts, minds, bodies, all changing to follow Christ. It should be a place of repentance. Every time you attend a church service, you should not walk out the same person as when you first walked in. That's what I love about ours; when we worship it's not just singing, it's our Pastor praying over us, and us praying as well. Giving us the chance to ask for forgiveness, for whatever has gone on during the week in our lives that set us back. If we need healing he has the oil out and ready to anoint us, it's real. His people are being moved, saved, and healed. It always leaves me wondering, why aren't all churches like this? That is why I love it so much. It gives me the feeling of closeness to God's Word and the Holy Spirit, it feels like the closest thing to Heaven, it feels like home. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying all other churches are doing it wrong, but each one has their own different routine or way of doing things.

There's a story in the Bible I always run back to because I feel like it's the story of my life. In Mark chapter 5, there's a woman who had been sick for a long time and came to a crowd gathered around Jesus, and she said to herself if she could only reach out and touch his clothes she would be healed. And because of that strong faith she was healed when she brushed his cloak against her skin. And Jesus wasn't mad at her, He was stunned by her faith. Now that I know what the church really holds, I'm always so eager to get there on Sunday morning. I always feel like that woman running after Jesus, "If I can only be in the presence of the Holy Spirit today, He will speak to my heart, make me stronger in His name."

I can tell you that the church is of great importance to God. From spiritual correction and discipline to tithing and so many other lessons. The only way for you to really know how important it really is, is if you read His Word for yourself and let Him speak to you about it. Even if you're going through a dry spell, make that effort to find a church you really love. It's one of the most life changing experiences I've ever had. Don't let Satan keep telling you that it's not for you.

"The words of our Pastor that impacted me the most were these: God wants our church to be an Ark, to bring as many people in as we can because the end is near. I've just never heard a preacher say it like that. God gave him a vision for our church, and it was a revelation to my spirit." -My Mom


"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." -Matthew 18:20

"So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." -Ephesians 4:11-13


With Love,
Victoria

Amidst the Gunfire

We don't always comprehend the amount of courage and guts it takes to put on that uniform and vest, and the strong arm that holsters your gun everyday. We don't realize that unknowingly because you defend your city you become a target for revenge. The drops of sweat that roll down your face when your adrenaline pumped body thinks to reach for your gun. The prayers your racing mind is quickly trying to get to God to protect your life amidst the gunfire. "God, please don't let me get shot." "Let me make the right call." "Please protect me from harm, and let me walk away today." "God let me get home to my family tonight."

The few short minutes feel like a lifetime. When it's over and your pounding heart starts to slow and a sense of relief comes across your body, to think there are still more people concerned about vengeance, than your wife and children who would be without the bravest man they know. Two handsome little boys are tucked in bed praying for you tonight, praying for their daddy to walk back through the door untouched by the bullets of hatred. 

Not only do you carry a gun and a badge everyday, you carry your whole city's sense of safety on your shoulders. You carry the promise to your wife to be safe, and the promise to your children to come home. Above all, you carry with you the gruesome and tragic scenes that will forever be burned into your mind. Sometimes we forget. We forget how much weight you carry with you, and how strong you have to be, physically and mentally. But today we were reminded, because we saw you and we felt the ground shake beneath our feet from your fierce defense. You are a brother/sister, a husband/wife, a daddy/mommy, a son/daughter, a friend, a warrior and a Peacemaker. An Officer of the Law. You might have a target on your back, but just know that only means someone fears you're stronger than they are. And just like God gave all the surrounding towns into Israel's hands long ago, so did He do that today when all of our men got to walk away unharmed. We pray God will continue to be with all of you and protect you from danger. We pray He will continue to strengthen you with reviving energy and an alert mind to be on guard. Your amazing strength to respond and protect us is greatly and truly appreciated. We love and thank all of you. Every one of you and your families are in our prayers.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." -Matthew 5:9


Dedicated to: Our local PD, DPS and SWAT and all of the first responders and teams that helped in assisting our men.

And to my Dad and brothers who also currently serve - I truly admire your passion for this line of work that you have so faithfully served all these years. You will all always be my Hero.


With Love,
Victoria

Society vs. Christianity

I've been reading all these different articles and researching why people seem to avoid and steer clear of Christians. And as I'm reading all of these things I'm thinking to myself, "Really?" 

It just blew my mind. First off, there's just too much friction between Atheists and Christians in the world today. You just can't have a civil conversation about beliefs, it will most likely take a turn for the worst if their mind is already made up, and that's fine. But what about those who are curious, and may even be a Christian, but think that some other Christians are being over the top? 

You want the truth? - 

We are not born with hate in our hearts for people, someone else instills it in us. Somewhere along the way, you've been told or have had a conversation about Christianity in a negative sense. And if it stuck with you and you're on the fence about Christianity, you're on the fence about God altogether. But this is not something new, Jesus himself offended the elders, Chief Priests and Pharisees all the time. You want to know why? Because I feel their hearts were never in the right place to understand Him. We can't change what is written in The Word. The Bible calls us to make disciples of all nations, and with that responsibility comes speaking the truth. And if you take the Bible out of context and twists the words, God will know (Matt. 5:17-19, 2 Tim. 4:2-4). If the Bible offends you, there's something wrong with your heart. Jeremiah 17:9 states, "The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?" Christians are being condemned more and more everyday, (Bible predicts it) because we say one thing about following the Bible and we're automatically considered hypocrites and hateful. We are being hunted by Isis for crying out loud! Who in this country wants to be associated with that? People just don't want to believe Christians do any good to this world but bring judgement. Everywhere we look today there is hate. Even if that's not your intention, someone might put that label on you. Biblically speaking, our whole culture is corrupt. Actually if we want to get real, the world has always been corrupt.

How To Deal

The truth is, you can't lead someone that doesn't want to be led. All you can do is pray. Pray for hearts to be softened toward us. Pray for them to not misunderstand you and The Word. If you hold more conviction for certain things, be sure to obey what God has shown you. It shouldn't be classified as hate unless you're purposely trying to entice someone or hurt their feelings. Retaliation is also something we get caught up in, I know I have. You shouldn't retaliate, it should stay between you and God. God knows your heart, and if it wasn't your intention to come across as mean, then He knows.

Stand on The Word of God for everything. Everything you could possibly need for proof and evidence that God is real is in the Bible. Every problem you're facing there is a solution for in The Word. There are men and women that you can actually relate to, that's what their stories are there for. To guide us with love in our hearts and guard us with knowledge in our minds.

With Love,

Do Not Fear

Welcome!

I'm so excited to finally start a new series! Especially one like this one. I've been feeling a change coming on, not only for our family, but also in our churches. We are really starting to rise up, so this seemed fitting. So I'm going to start this out with some quotes to get us inspired:

"To be right with God has often meant to be in trouble with men." -AW Tozer

"God uses rescued people to rescue people." -Christine Caine

"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." -Albert Einstein

"It is impossible to rightly govern a nation without God and the Bible." -George Washington

"The devil doesn't know what to do with somebody who just won't give up." -Anonymous 


You're probably wondering why I'm quoting people and not the Bible. Sometimes we need extra reassurance from other human beings like us, who have been where we are, to help us continue our journey of courage.

In the Bible, John the apostle is one of my favorite men. When you begin to read the first words he wrote in the Gospel, you can tell his character and personality is genuine, honest and humble. He truly loved Jesus and would've done anything asked of him. It really rattles my soul that there are people who think The Word of God is a bunch of men making up stories... Did you know that some of the things that are said in the Bible as "still there to this day", you can still go see in Israel? I took an art history class in college, and our professor showed us John the Baptist's head (he was beheaded while in prison) and where they still keep it today, kind of creepy. King James believed 100 percent in the books of the Bible, that's why he picked most of them. Hence the King James version. Our founding fathers believed 100 percent, hence our Christian foundation. Believing that we just magically appeared here from an explosion is logical? Aren't explosions supposed to kill things not create millions of different species of every kind? This is probably why these things are only theories. Some of the smartest men who lived even acknowledged that their had to be a higher creator. I know it's silly to get worked up about it, but is it? We're letting our brothers and sisters walk by and live their lives, but we're keeping our mouths shut because we're afraid people won't like us anymore? We're afraid we won't be as popular? To be honest, we're mostly afraid of losing friends.

I experienced rejection for the first time recently, it doesn't feel good. I had no idea I'd take it as well as I did. Genuinely believing in God and growing in your faith changes you from the inside out. The more you get to know God the more conviction you hold. I guess that's why it was easy for me to handle harsh words and negativity. I know that this world is temporary and I'm going to blink my eyes and my life will almost be over. I am not willing to risk my chance of going to Heaven for anything. You have to constantly keep asking yourself, is this worth it? Does God really want this for me?

I remember when I was in grade school my mom used to tell me that I needed new friends, and I always told her, "I know you might be right but I might be the only light they will ever see." I can say that I really did try. There is a difference in trying to talk to someone who wants to understand Christianity and learn more, and talking to someone who doesn't care to hear it at all. Why is it that we want to ignore the parts of the Bible we don't want to believe, but go with all the parts we agree with? That's just not how it works.

Getting someone to Christ takes heart and patience. You have to let them know God loves all his children and wants them to know Him intimately. Then comes the education of repentance through teachers. That's why the church and fellowship with other Christians is crucial. There are some people who don't feel convicted over certain areas because they may not know in depth yet. But when God shows them the right way, they should take it seriously. God knows your heart. He is not an angry God. So many people get the wrong impression because they think Christians are nothing but judgmental. That we would never help someone that had an abortion or that's in a same sex relationship. That's not true, but if you're purposely enticing someone out of hate, of course we should stand up for our beliefs. If we as adults don't take a stand against someone being hateful, how are our young people going to know that they too should stand? Instead there are so many of our young adults who are saying, "I'm not going to take sides." Are you really willing to risk that attitude? 

Read your Bible for yourself. The Old Testament and the New. Don't ever take someone else's word for it. Live by it. 

"The devil doesn't care if you read your Bible or go to church, as long as you don't apply it to your life."


"Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work." -2 Timothy 2:21


With Love,

Sparing The Rod?

Welcome to Mommy Monday! 

Tonight I have a question for my readers. I know there are some families who choose not to spank or pop their children, but we definitely believe in it. It's Biblical, and of course we want to follow those rules as close as possible. So my question is: At what age range did/do you start discipling your child?

I've heard quite a few responses already. My sister, Tosha, said she feels it's pointless until age 2. Some parents have said they started popping on the hand after their child turned 1. We've had to start popping Levi already too. He's gotten into the habit of throwing his toys, starting to bite, and slapping. It's not an all day long thing but we decided to go ahead and address the problem, so he doesn't continue the behavior. Anybody who is around him says he's a wonderful baby, and that always makes me feel like I'm doing my job right. I know when we get into the terrible two's that will most likely change... I feel like leading up to two and over, they want to test you to see how far they can go. So I feel strongly about popping on the hand (or leg, if it's something really bad), I feel like they need to know right off the bat that you won't let them get away with craziness. I've seen some parents that are extremely lenient and when their child hits two, it's just complete chaos.

Some parents might think this is awful and feel strong about "talking" rather than taking physical action. They might even feel so strong about it that they call CPS on some parents they see spanking their child in stores. Personally, I feel this is ignorance at it's finest. Now if you just slap or punch your child, of course that's going way too far. I've heard some people say they feel if they spank their children, their kids will want to hit others. I don't really agree with this. I feel that as parents it's our responsibility to establish a good foundation of authority. "Talking" or "time out", in my opinion, are not things that seem to get the job done. You can spend a lifetime talking to someone or reasoning, and they still won't ever change. However, if it's your child, there's no doubt it will be completely considered your fault if they end up not respecting rules and authority. We have the ability, right now, to teach our children, it's never too late.

The Bible is very clear about discipline, if you don't discipline your children you don't love them: 

"Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them." (Proverbs 13:24) 

"Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent." (Revelation 3:19)

Feel free to leave comments on my Facebook page or down below. 
Negativity is not tolerated here, be sweet:)